One Step

Today is a celebration day for me.  It is not my birthday, nor is it a special holiday.  It is rather the day in which I completed a program, called the "Chronic Pain Rehabilitation" program.  It was 15 days long, and was held at the Courage Center, in Golden Valley, Mn.  What in the world is it?  you are probably wondering, so I will give you a brief description.  As the words in the title suggest, it is a program designed to help individuals who are living with long term  pain to find and try new ways in which to deal and cope with pain which traditional medicines and approaches cannot fully do, or often leave the person worse off than they were.  The goals of the program are many, and vary for each person there, but ultimately, it is hoped that those who do attend and make sincere efforts to try the ideas presented will be able to apply them and regain a life that is healthy and satisfying despite the unique challenges that are faced daily.

It is especially celebratory for me, because I actually began this program on October 31st, 2011, but was unable to complete.  After the first week, I was discharged and instead spent a week in the hospital psychiatric unit for severe depression and a new injury as well.  I was scared to death to go back and try it again, and was not sure I could do it.  But with the help and encouragement from friends and  members of my medical team, I faced the fears head on, and went back.

In the final class today, the director gave the "graduates" a certificate of completion, and a daily devotional book written by another person also living with long term pain.  She said a few words to both of us, and shared that someone said to her after my first day back, that they didn't think I would make it through.  She responded to that person, "oh no, I believe she most certainly will, because she has what it takes, mostly determination."  Hearing those words brought tears to my eyes, and filled me with a new sense of hope.  Something I have lost many times over.

My "mantra", or my theme has become this...and they are borrowed words that are oh so true...

"The Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step."

Going to the Courage Center, opening my mind and giving new ideas and practices an honest try to help me in this journey that I have found myself on, was one step.  Most days, just the act of literally putting one foot in front of the other in order to physically move, is in some ways even harder that all of that, but I choose to do that too.

I am so very grateful for the staff at the Courage Center, who have the desire to help people like me, to save lives and make them more livable, to find purpose and meaning again, and to offer hope, when for many, including me, all hope is completely gone.  I am also grateful for the new friends I have made, that I may never have otherwise had the privilege of getting to know.  They were really what kept me going every day, and I hope to continue building those friendships as time goes on, so that we can all have someone to turn to, who knows and truly understands, when we need support & encouragement, or to celebrate a victory with!

While I am sad for this chapter to come to a close, I look forward with anticipation for what is yet to come...one step at a time.